TGIF

Posted on May 17, 2013 by jessandjacy

Happy Friday, my sweet friends. And a very, very happy Friday it is indeed. I actually took off work today as sort of a vacation day. I have zero vacation plans this summer, other than taking a random Friday off in June for my friends’ wedding, so I’m using this day to play catch-up.

I really should be up Crossfitting this morning (yes, I started that up again), but I’m a complete idiot and decided to eat greasy fried food for the first time in an entire month last night and I can barely stand up my stomach hurts so much. Seriously, it feels like someone is jabbing me with a dull pocket knife. It’s horrible. Totally serves me right. But the food was delicious… I had mountain oysters at Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar” in Bricktown (Oklahoma City) for the first time in probably 10 years and they were so worth this horrible pain. I mean, look at these suckers. Best balls I’ve ever tasted. Yummm.

And that corn wasn’t too bad either. A Nebraska girl’s dream.

After Toby Keith’s, I got to walk around with my friend, Kylie, as she took a GORGEOUS couple’s engagement photos. Look how wonderful these turned out. So fun! Check out her website here: http://www.kyliehubbard.com/2013/05/aubrie-gunner-lovebirds.html

When I got home, I knew there was absolutely zero chance of me sleeping much last night. The boyfriend was on a flight from Lima, Peru, to Miami, and I was antsy as all hell. You know those Disney commercials in the early-2000s where the kids go, “But mommmm, I’m too excited to sleep!” That was me last night. I would have been jumping on my bed if it wasn’t a 2-inch wide twin.

So, I decided to be productive. I spotted these nails on the Hello Giggles website over my lunch break yesterday and decided to give them a try. This wasted a good 2 hours of my life (I wish I was kidding).

Here are the original nails:

And my nails:

I didn’t have all of the colors this chick had, so I had to improvise. Mine turned out super duper cute! That pink (Figi) color from Essie is my favorite. And if you haven’t tried Sally Hansen’s Insta-Dri polish, you need to get on that. The brush is really wide and it takes one coat to get your nails perfect. The green polish is the Sally Hansen. I also used Maybelline’s “Color Show” polish in Twilight Rays for the sparkly black. I really like the cherry blossom branch on my right thumb. I even did that with my left hand. Feelin’ pretty dang proud right now.

Anyway, I’m back to bed for a few more hours since I got zero sleep last night. As soon as the boyfriend gets back, we’re heading to his hometown for a wedding. I think these nails will do, right? I’m fancy.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

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Treasures

Posted on May 5, 2013 by jessandjacy

I felt extremely Carrie Bradshaw while blogging this morning. I would put in a load of laundry, then make my way back to my computer and write a sentence. Then I’d fold some laundry. And make my way back to my computer to write a sentence. P.S.: Did Carrie ever really do laundry? Or household chores in general? I bet she hired someone to do it. Which brings me to this question:

Do we just do laundry? Or are we really wiping ourselves clean of our past transgressions?

That was an awful attempt at a Carrie-esque question. My apologies. Regardless, happy Sunday, my friends! Shout-out to all of you who ran the Lincoln half-marathon this morning. And another shout-out to all of you doing the drinking marathon this afternoon. It’s Cinco de Drinko, everyone! I can honestly say I haven’t had one drink today. I have had an entire sleeve of Oreos though and I think that equals the calories in a jumbo margarita, so we’re even. Come to think of it, it’s 3 p.m. and I still haven’t had any food of substance. Just coffee and Oreos. Oh, the life of a 25-year-old girl with thousands in student loan debt and an overpriced apartment!

Back to marathons. Last week, I wrote about how I did not run the Oklahoma City half-marathon that I had signed up for, but rather I gave my bib away to Craigslist Kelsey. Well, here’s an update on the awesome Craigslist Kelsey: she did run the entire 13.1 miles last Sunday and crushed it. Here are some fantastic pictures of her in my bib — before the race and after the race. Look at all of her Boston gear! I adore her and I don’t even know her. We may need to initiate some sort of Starbucks meet-up though – what do you say, Kelsey?

Okay, now let’s talk about overpriced apartments. Living on my own is a little pricier than I thought it would be, so I really don’t have all that much money to spend on apartment décor. I could have found a one-bedroom for around $400, but then there’s that constant fear of being shot in the face in the morning by a gang of miscreants. (I just spelled miscreants without using spellcheck. I’m grad-school smart, yo!)

Thank goodness for my wonderful friend, Kylie, who taught me about “treasure hunting.” Every Saturday morning for a few weeks, the City of Norman zones out certain areas for large trash pick-up days. Basically, people put large “junk” items on their curbsides for the trash crews to pick up. However, if you get there before the trash crews do, then you get to keep the treasures all for yourself.

Okay, okay, there is a LOT of real junk sitting on those curbs. Lots of cardboard boxes, broken shards of glass, cat-demolished furniture, etc. But if you play your cards right – like me and Kylie – you might actually find some amazing treasures! The first morning we went, we only had Kylie’s Ford Escape and couldn’t fit many treasures in the back.

Yesterday morning, we came prepared with her dad’s pickup. At 9 a.m., we had already picked up three truckloads of stuff – a gorgeous zebra-striped chaise lounge, a set of outdoor Ikea furniture, two side tables, a wicker couch, a beautiful antique gold nightstand, a couple of ladders, brand new peg board, and the list goes on and on. My favorite part of the morning is when Kylie saw what she thought was a big pile of awesome junk to go through, but it was actually just a mailbox. You should have heard how excited she was: “What is that?! WHAT IS THAT?! Gotta go! Gotta go!” Two seconds later: “Oh, crap, it’s a mailbox.”

After the treasure hunting, we then went garage-sailing and thrift-store looking. Kylie and her sister, Kristen, both bought some really beautiful pieces. I think we’re all treasure-hunting maniacs now!

I decided to split from the sisters at about 2 o’clock to go take a nap and set up my apartment. I had been up since about 3:30 yesterday morning, so I was in desperate need of some shut-eye. I got up at 3:30 to say bon voyage to my boyfriend, who left for a 12-day trek to Peru and Bolivia. Immediately after I hugged him goodbye, I spent the next hour of my life crying uncontrollably. I want him to think I’m a robot, so I kept my tears inside for a few minutes. But as soon as I heard his car start-up, I lost my shit. Like that ugly, are-those-tears-or-snot-type crying. It was awful. We’ve been together almost a year now and the most time we’ve been apart was about 11 days. So that ONE extra day made me fall to pieces. Like, JEEBUS, Jess. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, YOU NINNY.

I honestly don’t think it’s the time apart that made me cry. It’s the fear that he may die of malaria. Also, he has really pretty blue eyes and blonde hair. What if some uncivilized Peruvian tribe decides to use him as a human sacrifice based on his soft, American features? These are the things that keep me awake at night.

In all seriousness though, this is a trip of a lifetime. Machu Picchu is BEAUTIFUL, but mountainy as all get out. It sounds like he’ll be doing a ton of walking and hiking. Let’s face it, I’m more of a sit-my-ass-at-a-resort-and-eat-Oreos kind of girl, but if I felt like hiking a shit-ton, Machu Picchu is the first place I’d go. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers that he has a safe journey. I kind of like this one and don’t really feel like going on CNN to tell the whole world how I “lost my one true love to tribe of Incas who were in desperate need of a human sacrifice.” No thank you, sir.

Anyway, back to yesterday – so I took my much-needed nap and then FINALLY took time to rearrange and clean my apartment. I wish a had a before picture, but here’s the after:

Out of this entire room, there are only a handful of items I actually purchased (the rug, the records, the picture frames, the flowers, the burlap sack). Everything else was gifted to me, traded, or found while treasure hunting.

Here are a few of my favorite treasure finds:

I found the IKEA side table yesterday, along with this amazing gold nightstand. I bought a coffee-bean burlap sack yesterday for $5, then took the legs off the night stand, and put them all together. The best part? I didn’t even use Pinterest to come up with this. BOOM.

This is my other favorite treasure-hunting piece. Sorry the picture quality stinks. I originally picked this up to use as a cabinet for my dishes (I had it flipped around so the doors were on the top), but then decided to use it as a TV stand instead. A little furniture polish makes everything look good-as-new.

If you ever get a chance to do some treasure hunting, definitely send me some pictures of some of your finds. I’m excited to hear about your experience! But for now, I shall bid you adios. I have to get ready to go to a Cinco de Drink get-together tonight. I really need to eat a burrito or something. All that sugar from those Oreos has made me crash and burn.

Have a wonderful week!

Jessica

Thank You, Darlings

Posted on April 24, 2013 by jessandjacy

Before I do anything else, I just want to thank everyone for your support after I announced on Facebook that I was going back to graduate school at the University of Oklahoma. I don’t mean this in a cocky way, I mean this in a self-acceptance way: I know I’m loved. And your love and support becomes very apparent when I post something to Facebook. Also, I’m sure you just loved chuckling at the picture I posted along with my announcement post:

Hello, WORLD’S FATTEST, UGLIEST, CROSS-EYEDIEST BABY. It’s a wonder I grew up looking half-way decent.

I’ve been asked to provide more details about my program of study, so I thought I’d share on the ol’ blog. I’ll be pursuing my Master of Arts in Administrative Leadership. I heard about the program through my friend, Kylie. She said the program was 100% online, which definitely fits my needs right now with my 40+ hour-a-week job. If all goes well with Financial Aid, I’m hoping to start this summer. But I’m down to start next fall, too. Whatever works.

I’m doing this for several reasons.

My dream has always been to attend the University of Oklahoma. Getting my job here was a dream-come-true, but actually having that slip of paper that says I’m an OU grad is a whole other story.
My dad wants me to be a doctor. And I’m my dad’s favorite daughter. (I know FOR SURE Jacy would agree. Not sure what Gina would think). So what he wants, I’ll try my damnest to do for him because he’s f*cking awesome.
I think this degree will really help me in my career. I know everyone says that, but for realz. I need to hone in on my leadership skillzzzz. (Replace every “s” with a “z” and you become a total tool. Sorry about it.)

So there you have it in a nutshell: My quest to become a lady genius. I’ll definitely keep you posted as I learn more about the program.

Marathon
There are some days when you just have to accept small facts like you’re fat and slow. Today is one of those days, as I’ve come to realize that there is no way in HELL that I’ll be able to run the Oklahoma City half-marathon that I signed up for. Likeeee, I can barely walk up to my fourth-floor office at work without dying of a heart attack, let alone run 13.1 miles.

Thankfully, my friend, Tessie, gave me a bombdiggity idea. She suggested that I try to sell my bib number. So, I took to Craigslist and looked for any crazy people who were dying to run the marathon but didn’t get registered in time. And I found one crazy person!! Her name is Kelsey (sorry, Kelsey, you’re not actually crazy. Quite frankly, you’re my hero). Kelsey plans to pick up my registration packet this weekend and run the half-marathon on Sunday (or, as she says, “run/walk, heavy on the walk”). I honestly didn’t care about selling the bib. I wasn’t going to use it anyway. So I asked Kelsey to wear something in support of Boston in exchange for my bib and to send me pictures of her pre- and post-race. I can’t wait to hear how she does! Everyone send good buga-buga to Ms. Craigslist Kelsey of Oklahoma City!

Maybe my purpose in life isn’t to do a bunch of meaningless shit and cross it off my bucket list. Because that’s all this marathon was to me. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Walk the race. Get a medal. And be done. Instead, I should take my time and do fewer things that have more meaning to me.

Why Love Actually Sucks
As I wrote in my last blog, I went with my Kylie friend to Wicked last weekend. And it BLEW ME AWAY (pun absolutely intended). But watching Wicked made me realize a really astounding metaphor: Love actually sucks for OTHER PEOPLE to watch.

Recently, I’ve had quite a few people ask me why I don’t blog as much. Ohhh, I don’t know. It might have something to do with me working one full-time job, one part-time job, applying to graduate school, and managing a band. But in every instance, my friends have said, “Ohhh, it’s alllll because you have a boyfriend. You don’t have time to do fun things or blog about them.” Totallllyyy untrue. I do fun things. Just last night, Ethan and I quite literally happened upon an stand-up comedy hour on accident. WE ARE FUN, GODDAMNIT. But no one wants to hear about the fun things you do with your boyfriend. They want to hear about the nights when you were single and got black-out drunk and made out with some guy named Mauricio. (That never happened…nope.)

Here’s where Wicked comes in: In the second half of the play, the wicked witch falls in love. There was one VERY long song where the wicked witch and her love interest sat on the stage and sang a love song to each other. And it was the most boring, awful, yawnsville scene I have ever watched in my entire life. I seriously kept slapping myself in the face to wake up.

That’s what I am to all of my friends now. I’m the wicked witch in love, singing a horrible song to my boyfriend. I get you now. I’m boring. But please know that my boyfriend isn’t why I blog less. It’s because there truly aren’t enough hours in a day.

Norman Music Festival
I’m going to end on a shameless plug: Come out and see the boyfriend’s band in action this Saturday night in Norman. His band, Irish and the Youngblood Blues Explosion, (the one I manage) are playing at the Red Room on Main Street at 6 p.m. The best part? Buy a $15 wristband and drink unlimited amounts of alcohol from 11 a.m. until 10 p.m. There’s a good chance I will die this Saturday. Have a wonderful weekend!!

Yeah, I made this. Because I’m awesome at design. But not cut-outs clearly. Yikes.

Friday. Finally.

Posted on April 19, 2013 by jessandjacy

If your week has been anything like my week, it’s been:

The longest week in history.
The saddest week in history.
The most “appreciate-what-you-have” week in history.
The most terrified-out-of-your-mind week in history.

This week is notorious for being a tragic week in history and, unfortunately, the streak continued in 2013 with the Boston Marathon bombing on Monday and the Waco explosion on Wednesday. My mind can’t possibly understand what all of the families of the victims are going through, so I don’t even go there. Instead, I pray. I reflect. I’ve logged on to Twitter and Facebook and read all of the sweet condolences that my fellow Americans have posted to the victim’s families. And I continue to be thankful for the life I live, the family I’m blessed with, and the friends I have. I really hope you all have found your own way to get through this week.

I’m grateful to hear that the suspects have been identified and one already shot and killed, but I’m pretty fearful that there are more than two suspects. I try not to speculate, but my mind goes there and thus, I’m terrified out of my freaking mind. I emailed my friend, Quana, this morning to tell her I was scared to leave my house for fear the other suspect somehow made his way to Oklahoma and was hiding in the fraidy-hole beside my house. Unlikely, but still terrifiying.

I find it really hard to be all “fun-and-games” this week, with the tragedies still looming, but finding humor in life is pretty much my mantra. So I’m going to try.

Finding humor in life’s little mishaps.
If anyone follows me on Twitter or Facebook, you probably know that I got a brand spankin’ new car in January. It’s a 2013 Ruby Red Ford Fusion and I’m absolutely obsessed with it. Clearly I’m not that obsessed because I decided to back my two-month old car straight into a little yellow cement pole in my parking lot. (Proof that I should never be allowed to have kids. Ramming two-month-olds into cement poles? Yeah, not qualified.)

I think what makes me the maddest is that I backed my car into a pole when I could have just paid $2 for parking down the street. I wasn’t able to come into work until Noon that day, so I pulled into my employee parking lot praying for a spot instead of driving down the street and paying $2 for parking. Sadly there were no open spots when I pulled into the employee lot, but I quickly glanced to my right and saw someone pulling out. That’s when I looked quickly behind me, slid my car into reverse, annnndddd bashed my poor rear bumper into a pole. Honestly, I tried to recreate the scenario and STILL couldn’t see the freaking poles. I think they must have just been in my blind spot or something. It was also down pouring that day, so that probably had something to do with it.

I was pretty proud of myself after the crunch. I didn’t cry. I didn’t punch the cement pole. I got out of my car, quickly assessed the damage, texted my mom, and went into work and did my work without thinking about it. Best employee ever? Probably. I guess no one ever said I took my problems with me to work. I just leave them in the parking lot. Ha. Ha.

To add a little frosting to the top of my cupcake, I also decided to lose grip on my phone in my apartment complex’s parking lot a couple of days later. I’m never, ever going to bet someone a lot of money on a heads-or-tails game because I’m clearly a loser. My phone decided to go tails-up, causing my screen to resemble a spider web rather than a cell phone.

Word on the auto-body street is that my fun little car mishap will cost me around $1600. And my cell phone, an additional $140. Yay. I’m so excited because I have so much money lying around that I didn’t know what to do with!! (Shit no one says.)

But here’s the deal – sure, it’s $1740. But did I hurt anyone else in the process? Nope. Just me and that stupid yellow pole. And now, it’s kind of funny. I had a running joke with one of my coworkers about my car. He’d always come into the office and tell me how he did a walk-around my car and someone keyed it or door-dinged it. And before, I’d always have mini-heart attacks. But now, I don’t really care. It’s just a car. And I certainly can’t take it with me when I go.

O.P.E.R.A.
Last week, I received a text from my friend, Megan. She and I grew up in the same hometown and she decided to come to Oklahoma last summer to pursue her degree in Epidemiology. I’m not going to lie to you – I want to be Megan. She has the coolest life. She does the coolest things. She wears the coolest clothes. Seriously, she’s awesome. So when she texted me to see if I wanted to go to an O.P.E.R.A. conference, I was allllll in.

No, we didn’t go watch a fat lady sing. We went to the Oklahoma Psychic Educational Research Association conference in Oklahoma City. I have been interested in the supernatural since I was a little kid. I remember performing séances with my babysitter when I was about 7-years-old. I was obsessed with Bewitched and The Craft, trying to wiggle my nose side to side to get objects to move and performing “light as a feather, stiff as a board” magic on my friends. Probably one of the best gifts I received was a Ouija board when I was 15. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for fueling my weirdness!

In 2008, I got my aura read. In 2011, I joined a few friends in California in my first psychic encounter. I’ve smudged every house I’ve lived in. I carry stones in my pocket for different powers. I light candles and incense to help with healing, love, clarity, etc. I watched a squirrel die on my front porch the other day and now I’m convinced I can see thestrals like Harry and Luna. (Harry Potter reference. If you don’t get it, READ HARRY POTTER, YOU CRAZY PERSON.) I will be magical if it’s the last thing I do, gosh darnit!!

Going to this O.P.E.R.A. conference with Megan was the best. I guess it was good to know that there are other “weirdos” out there like me. Megan even got her tarot cards read while we were there – which as a super cool experience! Some of the things the reader said were spot-on when it came to Megan’s personality. While Megan finished up her session, I walked around and bought a few healing rocks for myself and the boy toy. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m a lunatic now. But when he’s working his construction job and doesn’t have the back pain that he was having, he’ll thank me later.

Upcoming!
I’m trying not to dwell on this crazy week. I’m looking forward to a trip to Dallas this weekend to finally see Wicked! My friend, Kylie, and I are heading down this afternoon. I’m excited for some much-needed window-shopping time. I’d say shopping-shopping, but I have $1700 to come up with (really, only $600-ish because of insurance). Then the following week, I’ll be in Dallas again for The Black Crowes concert at the House of Blues with the boyfriend. I have so much to look forward to in the coming weeks and I’m excited my wonderful friends will be right beside me.

I hope your week gets better, too. Be thankful you’re okay. And, if all else fails, buy a magical stone. Even if it’s a placebo effect, it’s an effect. Enjoy!

Bored

Posted on April 5, 2013 by jessandjacy

If you haven’t noticed, I still continue to suck. Every blog, I promise to blog more often. And then life happens and I find myself blogging once every 17 months.

This week has been complete madness in every aspect of my life. In case you haven’t heard, I moved to an apartment all by my lonesome for the first time in my life. I had plans to move into a house with two other girls, but Mama Schwag came to visit last Thursday night and convinced me that living alone is something I NEEDED to do. And that I was 25-years-old and to grow the f*ck up, stop being a fraidy cat, and live by myself. Not really, but she implied that in her eyes.

Last Friday morning, Mom and I got up at the ass crack of dawn and began searching for apartments. We drove alllll over town for about 2 hours when we happened upon a quaint little complex on the east side of town. My mom had seen the place on apartments.com and fell in love with the giant water feature in the front. Ironically, there was a whole episode of Modern Family just days before about how water features are important to people when buying a house because they provide a “wow factor.” Welp, my mom was sold on the “wow factor.” So we immediately went in.

Come-to-find-out, the place had a rent special going on for the month of April. Sign a lease starting in April and pay about $50 less each month for a 12-month lease AND get a free washer and dryer. After money discussions, criminal background checks and credit checks, I held the keys to my new apartment that Friday night. The whole experience was pretty incredible actually.

By some act of God, Mama Swag, the boy toy, and I managed to move me into my apartment Saturday morning in about 3 hours. I still have a few things left to move over, but for the most part I am settled in. Thankfully, I got to relax on Easter Sunday. Boyfriend and I got to spend the morning with my Norman family, then we went to Guitar Center, Dave and Buster’s, and finished the beautiful day off sitting by a bonfire as he played guitar. I always swore to myself I wouldn’t be one of THOSE girls who fawned over her guitar-playing boyfriend, but I can’t help it. I am. Deal with it.

Sunday was sort of the calm before the storm. Monday morning, all hell broke loose. Between Monday and Thursday, I worked 48 hours. I love what I do, but I’m pretty sure I’m developing carpal tunnel. And I’m back in the office today – albeit, taking a short lunch break and writing a blog – but I’m here. All week long, I’ve sat in my office thinking to myself, “Golly gee, I wonder what it would feel like to be bored? To just sit at home and watch TV. I’d KILL to be bored right now and not sitting at my computer all day.”

But then I’d get home from working each 12-hour day and I’d feel completely and utterly bored. And not in a good way.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the silence for a while, but there’s only so much I can do by myself without cable or no internet. I do have a TV and DVD player, so in my free time this week, I’ve watched “I Love You, Man,” twice and episode 1 of Mad Men once. I listened to all of my records, too.

Last night, I got home around 8 p.m., unpacked a little more, made a grocery list, budgeted for the next month, worked on laundry, and head-banged in front of the mirror to “My Way,” by Limp Bisquit twice. I sent Jacy weird photos of myself post-headbanging. I also did my hair and make-up for no apparent reason. When I looked down at the clock, I figured it would be about bedtime. NOPE. It was 8:32.

My mind immediately though of “The 40-year-old Virgin,” when Steve Carrell marches around his house playing the baritone. That’s all I wanted last night. A fucking baritone.

Instead, I decided to see what the boy was up to. He said he had band practice, but to stop on over. Since I already had my hair and makeup perfectly done and an outfit picked out, I hopped in my car and headed to his place. But when I went to open his front door, it appeared to be locked. I could hear his band jamming, so I loudly knocked thinking they would hear me. They didn’t. I called him. He didn’t pick up.

And that’s sort of when I lost my mind. I COULDN’T HANDLE BEING BORED ANYMORE. I hopped in my car and just started driving around town like a mad woman. Seriously, I bet I put 10 miles on my car until I decided to call Jacy and bitch to her about how bored I was. Praise Jesus she answered or I probably would have driven straight to the looney bin and checked myself in.

She, too, was bored out of her gourd and was literally sitting around her house twiddling her thumbs. We both agreed that being bored is completely overrated. Neither of us are those kind of people who can just SIT. We need to be doing something at all times. We talked each other down from our ledges and fought the boredom together. She decided to go for a run and I decided to drive back to my house and fold laundry.

And then I sent her 8 million pictures of mice playing musical instruments.

I honestly can’t even handle how cute these mice are. Every time I see a picture, I get so excited that I want to cry/throw up/pee my pants. Who the hell though to do this? Why wasn’t it ME?

I guess I’d better either find a hobby or embrace the boredom if I’m going to be a big girl now. Or maybe I can star a business of taking pictures of mice with other hysterial objects in their hands…

I can promise you one thing: there will probably be more blogging involved. And drinking box wine at home alone. And probably lots of drinking box wine WHILE blogging. Stay tuned.

Have a brilliant, folks!

Irish… I was Veronica Mars

Posted on March 14, 2013 by jessandjacy

Before I delve into the Irish meat and potatoes of my blog, can I just FREAK out for a minute?

VERONICA MARS IS GOING TO BE A FILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could break dance because that’s all I want to do today. I’m too excited to think clearly. If you don’t know anything about V-Mars, then we’re no longer friends. Go away. Read someone else’s blog.

I kid, I kid. It’s never too late to become a fan. V-Mars aired three glorious seasons from 2004 to 2007. And then, for some INSANE reason, it was cancelled. I still get weepy thinking about it. But the show’s creator, Rob Thomas (NOT the Matchbox 20 dude), started a kickstarter campaign to raise money for a movie. AND HE SUCCEEDED IN A DAY. We V-Mars fans are insane…and evidently loaded because he raised 2.7 mil in 24 hours and most of those gifts were big donations – like $400 to $10,000.

Trust me, you should head on over to Amazon and buy all three seasons RIGHT NOW. And make sure you have absolutely nothing going on this weekend, because you won’t stop watching them. Ever. In fact, I’ve seen all three seasons three times…and counting. I’d say it’s a waste of my life. But it’s not. Everything I’ve ever learned came from V-Mars. IRISH I WAS VERONICA MARS.

One more freak out.

VERONICA MARS IS GOING TO BE A FILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a sadder note, I’m starting to get bummed that I won’t be in Nebraska this weekend for St. Pat’s. Don’t get me wrong, I’m SUPER excited to be in Norman and it’s going to be a blast watching and promoting my boyfriend’s band, Irish and the Youngblood Blues Explosion, on Sunday (and it’s his birthday!) But after first attending O’Neill, Nebraska’s St. Patrick’s Day celebration two years ago, my life has never been the same.

Here would be an appropriate time to say Happy Birthday to my older sister, Gina. LOVE YOU and wish I could be in Nebraska for you for your St. Pat’s birthday.

If you’re a Nebraskan, there’s no need to talk about St. Pat’s in O’Neill – “The Irish Capital of Nebraska.” (More like the Irish Capital of the World. Except for Ireland already has that title I guess.) The locals start the celebration early in the week by painting a giant green shamrock in the middle of town. Actually, several years ago, they permanently cemented the shamrock into the street, but paint over it for a brighter effect. Eventually, out-of-towners start trickling in to make the most wonderous St. Patrick’s Day festival ever.

I turned 21 a few years ago, but was never able to attend St. Pat’s in O’Neill because I was always working out of town on the holiday. Finally, two years ago, I was able to go. I won’t go into great detail about my first O’Neill St. Pat’s, but let’s just say that I ended up having to carry a passed-out “friend” (many of you know who this is I’m sure) to the backseat of my car while I waited for my MOTHER to come drive me home. I had a few too many green beers myself and had zero plans of driving home. However, sitting in the front seat of my car, keys in hand, while my dead friend (her name rhymes with Stacy) sprawled out in the back seat could have actually gotten me in trouble with the police. Thankfully, some older gentleman came to my rescue and told the cops that I was just babysitting and wasn’t going to drive off. And then the older gentleman and I had a nice chat about the history of O’Neill’s St. Pat’s celebration as he awkwardly placed his hand upon my leg. The things I do for drunk friends (sisters), I tell you.

Last year was even better than my first year. The night before the big celebration, Jacy and I drove to another area town called Orchard to meet up with some of our Orchard friends. We went to the local bar and partook in some drinks and jukeboxing. A few hours into the night, a group of gentleman waltzed into the bar – they were clearly out-of-towners because none of us had seen them before. One of the gentlemen struck my fancy. Which is gross because this guy looked EXACTLY like my brother-in-law – who I think is a handsome fellow, but it’s gross to want to date someone who looks like my brother-in-law because he’s more like my BROTHER. We had good conversation and danced quite a lot. I’m a sucker for good country swing-dancers. I got his number and told him that I’d invite him to St. Pat’s. I hadn’t actually planned on calling him because HE LOOKED LIKE MY BROTHER-IN-LAW.

The next morning, I rolled myself out of bed and met up with one of my best friends, Quana, to march in the St. Patrick’s Day parade. This was us. Quana’s the one with the trumpet.

After the parade, we walked bar-to-bar, playing songs for the hundreds of Irish lads and lasses. Like I said, I had zero intentions of calling brother-in-law look-a-like, but that pesky green beer got the best of me and I gave in to my inhibitions. Thirty minutes later, the gentleman showed up.

All of a sudden, he went to nice, non-creepy fellow into introducing himself to my friends as my “boyfriend.” When my friends asked me who he was, the fellow would jump in, “Oh, I’m her boyfriend!” I’d say, “Oh, no, we’re just friends. We met last night.” And he’s say, “But sweetie, I thought we were official.” I wish I could make this shit up.

He asked me when he could take me home to meet his parents. And how excited he was for me to meet his nephews. And how he couldn’t wait to make us Facebook official.

Dude got real weird REAL fast. And he wasn’t drunk. At all.

I tried to lose him at the bar, but he clung to my hip like a baby Bjorn.

Eventually, a group of my friends asked if I wanted to join them at a different bar. I said, “HELL YES I DO!” and followed them down the street. Creeper continued to cling. When we got to the door of the bar, I told creeper to go on in ahead and we were going to stay outside and have a “smoke.” He fell for the bait and while he was showing the bouncer his ID, Jacy yelled, “RUN!!!!!!”

Without looking back once, Jacy and our friends SPRINTED down the street, turned the corner, and hid in an alley way. He MUST have seen us running, but thankfully didn’t follow us. Instead he called me. ONE THOUSAND TIMES. And left me ONE THOUSAND MESSAGES.

“Jess, this is Creeper. Where did you go? My friends dropped me off in O’Neill and I thought I could stay with you.”

“Jess. Creeper again. I have no way home. Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?”

“Sweetieeeee, it’s Creeper. It’s so cold out here. Where did you go?”

“Honey, are you okay? Please call me, Creeper, back as soon as you can.”

And on, and on, and on.

This guy even made his way to the top of my “Favorites” list on my phone automatically because he called me and texted me so many times that night. I wish I wouldn’t have recently deleted his number, because I’d totally show you the proof.

This year, there will be no need to run away from creepers. Thank goodness. Even though I’ll be missing y’all at St. Pat’s, my dear Nebraska friends.

By the way, if you are in Norman on St. Pat’s, let me know! You should totally join me at all three of Irish and the Youngblood Blues Explosion gigs!

Head on over to their Facebook page and give them a like. You’ll get to see how cute my rockstar boy toy is. Just sayin’… for all you nosey people. (Shameless plug for the band. Sorry, E, for exploiting you.) http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Irish-and-the-Youngblood-Blues-Explosion/278628395601817?fref=ts

May the Luck o’ the Irish be with you!

The Dreaded V-Day…DUM, DUM, DUM

Posted on February 11, 2013 by jessandjacy

I received the BEST call the other day. It was from a man on my softball team and he called to see if I’d help him find his girly friend a Valentine’s gift.

My initial reaction was excitement — excitement because he thought of ME to help HIM. But then I got sort of sad and doubtful. I’ve had the absolute worst Valentine’s Day luck and didn’t want to drag his poor soul down with me. Plus, I hadn’t actually bought anyone a Valentine’s Day gift before, nor had I received a really great V-day gift before, so I really had no idea how I could help this guy.

Valentine’s Day with Maggie a thousand years ago. These were not our roses. Surprise, surprise.

***

It was 2004 and I had been dating my very first boyfriend for nine months. Every holiday I had spent with him up until Valentine’s Day had been a complete bust, so I was looking forward to our first romantic holiday together. The morning of that lovey-dovey holiday, we sat together on our high school gym bleachers as we did every morning. He had a gift bag in tow and I was ecstatic to finally open it. But when I opened his gift bag, I found my worst nightmare inside:

The most hideous, fluffy, furry, red thong underwear I had ever seen in my life.

It was then I saw my entire future flash before my eyes. And my future did not belong with him.

You see, at 16 years old, I was an absolute prude. I actually bought a shirt that year that said “Be sexy. It doesn’t mean you have to have sex.” True story. And I wore it more than I probably should have. Sex, in my mind, was saved for marriage. And my then-boyfriend certainly implied sexual relations with me by presenting me with those raunchy red underwear. I wanted no part of that. Ew.

(That being said, I would totally welcome a fluffy thong at this juncture in my life because I’m too poor to buy decent underwear. Granny-panty-wearer-4-lyfe.)

I broke up with him on the spot. I was not that kind of girl. He assured me it was just a joke and he had no intentions of going that far with me for a very long time, but I didn’t care. I was a giant dramatic bitch and I was done with him.

If it wasn’t for those racy red undies, he may not have the wonderful wife and child he has today. I’m sure he gives thanks to those red panties every single day for giving him the love and happiness he deserved.

I’ve only celebrated three Valentine’s Days with boyfriends and had nasty break-ups two of those V-Days. (The second break-up had nothing to do with the Valentine’s Day gift, but rather irreconcilable differences. Mostly, I just wanted to party and do single-folk stuff and he didn’t.)

So when my current boy toy told me he was going to be gone this Valentine’s Day, I did a secret happy dance in my head. I didn’t want my streak of bad Valentine’s Day luck continuing with him. I actually want to keep this one around for a while.

I’ll be spending this Valentine’s Day with a few of my girlfriends. And, although it would be terrific to hang out with him, I’m excited for some quality girl time. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I had a glass of wine.

***

Despite my hesitation, I did meet up with my softball-playing friend last Thursday and we searched shop-to-shop on Norman’s Campus Corner, trying to find his lady a gift. At the end, we decided upon nothing. He was going to go back today or tomorrow and maybe get the gal a pair of earrings.

In all of our hunting, I did accumulate quite a few Valentine’s gift ideas for y’all’s significant others and would like to share them.

Boys Buy Girls

1. Flowers
I refuse to believe this is a cliché. I love flowers (For any secret admirers out there, peonies are my favorite.). Perhaps instead of a typical bouquet of roses, try something a little funkier. I love all of these arrangements by Birdie in Norman.

2. A locket
Win her heart with a heart-shaped locket. A local store in Norman, Stash, carries these gorgeous vintage lockets. Check out vintage shops in your area to find something similar. I know Stash also ships.

3. Records
So maybe she doesn’t have a record player, but CDs and mix-tapes will do, too. Call me old-fashioned, but I love with my BF makes me playlists with his favorite songs. He recently bought me local musician, Travis Linville’s new “Sun or Moon EP” and I’m obsessed. For a great list of albums to check out for your boo, go to Guest Room Records Employee picks. You can’t go wrong with a little music from the heart.

4. Bracelets/Scarves
I’d probably stay away from clothing for Valentine’s Day. My softball-playing friend wanted to buy his lady a t-shirt and wasn’t sure what size to get. I feel like that could get messy, especially if she wears a Small, but you get her an Extra Large. I’d stick to something that she can wear around her neck or wrist – no size required! I love these dainty little bracelets found on BeyondHalf’s site. And they’re on sale – bonus! Gap has wonderfully colorful Infinity scarves right now that she’ll for sure love.

5. Something Sentimental
If all else fails, do something sentimental. Take her to the place you first kissed and pop some bubbly. Grab a blanket and some wine and go stare at the stars. Rent the movie you watched on your first date. As much as we hate to admit it, all girls love that cheesy shit.

Girls Buy Boys

1. Chocolate-Covered Strawberries/FOOD/Girl Scout Cookies
Boys love food. For an easy, thoughtful gift, I’d suggest you buy a carton of strawberries and some milk chocolate and go to town. OR order from Edible Arrangements. My friend, Maggie, has bought me chocolate-covered goodies from Edible for my birthday and they’re delicious. Believe me, he’ll eat those berries like there’s no tomorrow.

Also, the Girl Scouts are in full-swing of selling cookies. Hit up Walmart or Target to find those ambitions girls with those delicious cookies.

2. Concert Tickets/Records
Again, music is the way to your significant other’s heart. Check out Guest Room Records Employee picks to find the perfect album for your man. Or, buy him some concert tickets to see his favorite band live. There are a TON of good concerts coming up in 2013 – helloooo, Mumford and Sons in Guthrie, Oklahoma – so take a look online to get him a gift he’ll not soon forget.

3. Boudoir Photo Shoot
I would never, ever, in a million years do this unless I dropped 50 lbs, but more power to ya if you don’t have cottage cheese on your thighs. You’re only young once, so get your sexy self to a photog and turn your boy on with some hot boudoir pics. Groupon is running some fantastic deals right now for boudoir shoots, so check them out.

4. Alcohol
I say that you can’t go wrong with alcohol – unless your boyfriend has liver disease or something. Get him some rare whiskey that he’d never buy himself. Believe me, every man wants to channel their inner Don Draper, so let him play out that fantasy.

5. Quentin Tarantino Movies
If you and your man haven’t seen Tarantino’s latest masterpiece, Django Unchained yet, get your butts to the theater and do that on Valentine’s Day. It’s a really bloody love story (sort of…) If you just feel like staying in, then get him the Quentin Tarantino Ultimate Collection Box Set. It’s only $40 on Amazon and probably the best $40 you’ll ever spend. There’s an 8-film collection available, too, for $84.00. If you order through Amazon Prime today, you’ll get it in time for Valentine’s Day.

***

So there are a few ideas for you this Valentine’s Day. I’m sure whatever you get your man/woman will be terrific. As long as it’s not a fluffy, furry, red thong. I kid, I kid. Just make sure it’s in the right size.

Much love and Happy Valentine’s Day!

Jess

jessandjacy

We do our own thing.